Oh, the shame I still feel when I think of this misadventure. I was apprehensive when I heard what tale this would tell, but overall I think it mostly flatters me, which is a surprise. I am glad the one who composed my tale and wrote it down was not overly disappointed in me and as a result did not put all my actions in a bad light. I was often described as a paragon, and when it was revealed I was not perfect it did not make me a horrible person for which I am grateful. I am sad to note that whoever wrote this is not known, I would like to thank them for describing me in a fair way even after I put a stain on my honor.
As for the tale itself and the action that shamed me- I will admit, I was afraid, and that fear made me accept the girdle that now represents my mistake. I accepted the Green Knight’s challenge to honor my uncle’s court, and so I cut off his head. I don’t know what I thought would be the result, but when his body kept moving and he picked up his head and gave me the specifications of our meeting place one year hence I was shocked. But I moved on and accepted it, but as the time grew closer and I prepared to leave to meet him my fears arose again. For though he could live without his head, I knew I could not. That long journey to find the green chapel was not pleasant, but I praised the saints when I found that castle in the woods. Little did I know at the time that it was the true home of my foe. Reading this tale in hindsight, I can see that when the lord of the castle made the bargain that we would each give the other what we gained that day that it was some kind of test or trap. His wife making advances towards me was not truly a surprise for many women have admired me, but when she gifted me with the girdle that would prevent any strike from injuring me I should have known it was too good to be true. I am glad that I did resist her advances, she was beautiful, but it would not have been virtuous; and I was even gladder when I realized that it was all a test. My fear of death- my love for my life, was more important to me than my honor at the time, but when that blow glanced my neck and my misdeed was said aloud, I swore it would no longer be so. I still have the scar on my neck, and I wear that green girdle as a reminder to never repeat that mistake or let my avarice overpower me.
3 comments:
You should not be ashamed of taking the girdle. It is only magic that can fight magic. As far as you knew your head would be lost forever and your body and spirit with it. If anything, the only shame you incurred was in lying about the gift of the girdle. Yet,who can blame you for such a simple lie. you had no clear idea of the lady's intentions nor of her husband's response. Men can be fierce when they feel their lady may be lost to another man. It is only through intelligence that you stay alive to help others and to achieve fame.
My dear Gawain, tis not your fault you have incurred a shame. That nasty green knight and his lady tricked you. I know in my heart that you are of the purest good. There was no doubt in my mind that you would have thought of a way to defeat the green knight. Your goodliness and purity would have guided you to the right choice. Even if that choice was to take the enchanted girdle. The shame you believe you have does not exist, for you are the purest knight I've ever met, with the best intentions towards any lady you've ever come across.
As the young culwich has aleady mentioned you should not be ashamed you should be proud for you are loyal to the kings court and had the courage to step in and swing at the mighty green knight for those who have the most courage could only do what you have done for King Arthur. What you did makes you very loyal the green knight lured you for it was not a mistake but a test of couage and you have passed.
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