Arthur,
I know that thou art angry at me and feel wholly betrayed by my love for Lancelot. I am sorry for it, but dost thou truly not see why it wast so easy for me to run into Lancelot’s arms? Thou seriously took me for granted thought that I wast easily replaceable. Thy walls have ears sweet husband and I know what thou hast said: “I am sorrier for my knights’ loss than for the loss of my fair queen; for queens I might have enow, but such a fellowship of good knights shall never be together in no company.” Thou hast always made it clear to me that thou dost prefer “bros before hos.” Since I wast not gettin' any lovin’ from thee, I had to go lookin’ for it elsewhere. If thee wants someone to blame, look in thy mirror.
Lancelot, on the other hand, hast always made me a priority. He hast rescued me numerous times and hast constantly been willing to die for me. Of course I’m going to pick the guy that wouldst die for me! Thou generally just shrugs thy shoulders when I get kidnapped. How about when the Pope told thee to take me back? Thou didst not even speak to me. Thou barely looked at me. How about my recent kidnapping by Mordred? Thou wast upset that he took over thy castle and kingdom but not me! I even brilliantly tricked him and fled to the Tower of London. Didst thou care?! Didst thee come to visit? Oh no. Thou art sad over Gawain and Lancelot but forget about thy Guinevere. I might as well go stick my head in the sand.
2 comments:
Oh fairest Guinevere...oh Gwenny! Maybe it is true that I had made a grave mistake in ever accepting you to stand by my said as the fairest maiden in all the land! Maybe I should have done a bit more research into the woman whom I cared to share my world with! But alas, I ended up with someone deceitful and unfaitful such as you.
Yet i harbor no ill feelings towards you, for I have much bigger fish to fry in this world. I was deceived by my own sister, who ironically came in your form as I slept! I have a demon sin of a son who is attempting to kill myself and all of my noble knights...yet again, you worry more about yourself than the safety and sanctity of Camelot! For shame woman!
Aye, but tis all a wonder how we made it this far and you certainly lend great credence as to why the saying "bros beforeth hoes" was ever created!
Guinevere,
Thou hast not only betrayed the king, but thou hast single-handedly torn the Round Table apart. Do thou recall the way that ye toyed with Sir Lancelot when thou first met him. Thou asketh him to lose in battle simply to see him fall. Thou thinketh the world revolveth around ye and that aspect of thine personality , Queen, has brought about the end of the rule of Britain's most noblest of Kings.
Post a Comment