Excalibur Tells the Truth!

This mystical vision I have observed shows Arthur and his knights as they truly are. Arthur, a silly farm boy afraid of the dark, receives the sword of kings, and has no idea what to do. He must seek counsel from his betters, as he always does, the cad! His inability to act on his own wish to retrieve the Grail is absolutely expected. He sends his knights out to do his own job! When will someone notice what a weakling he is? And to impregnate his own sister? Revolting, and demonstrative of his overpowering weakness. A true king would fight through sorcery to defend his own honor.

The vision shows me Gawain exactly as I have always described him. Finally, the truth is out. He is nought but a drunkard, a brute, an oaf, easily led and swayed by Morgana and Guinevere alike. They certainly have sovereignty over him, I can tell you. And this Merlin character... I have had little experience with him myself, but I believe that such a pillock as he is certainly responsible for many of Arthur's faults. He gesticulates like a madmen, falls over in rivers, speaks in strange ways, and generally behaves like a fool. There is no doubt in my mind that this vision of the roundtable is as accurate as any I have yet come across.